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TO Dear Val, Dylan.
Memories flooding my mind.
It came as such a shock.
Ur death was soo sudden.

As I was standing there,
Just standing there,
Staring at ur casket,
At ur picture.
I couldnt believe,
What I was actually seeing.
As I stood there.
I realized my face had streaks of wet droplets.

What was I suppose to say to uu.
When I offered my prayers,
I didnt know what to say.
I just stared at ur picture.
The whole time I was there,
I didnt know what to say.
Maybe all I cann ask is why did the Lord take uu?
Was it ur time already?
Fragile.
God wasnt being fair to uu then.

I dedicated all of this feelings to uu.
May uu be in peace.
Amen.

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School is such a good and condusive environment for studying.
Yes, indeed it is.
Except that the internet suck suck suck!!!!!!!!!!

I found soooooo many journal articles!!!
But I cant freaking download them!
Stupid tomato!
Potato!
Celery!
RAWR.

I shall save the webby and download it when I get home.
And now below this blogger screen is this "Could not contact Blogger.com. Saving and publishing may fail. Retrying..."
RAWR.
Why Why Why.

I like screamed soo loud just now
And fyi, I'm alone.
Everyone in the student hub must think I'm mad.
I ate soo much today.
I ate a club sandwich and a chicken bao.
Soo much bread.
I shall not eat anymore till dinner.
Must resist urge to buy Pocky.
*resisting*

I cooked dinner yesterday,
Cause mummy wasnt home.
And it's soo frustrating.
Uu really have to plan what to cook.
Soup.
Rice.
One vege dish.
One meat dish.
At least one dish must have gravy.
Sometimes we cann have extra.

I salute my mum.
No one complains when she cooks.
The moment something changes,
Everyone complains.
It didnt occur to me I had to cook a meat dish with gravy
If the vege dish doesnt have.
First, not enough rice (I didnt know someone extra was coming)
Then my egg with chunks of meat,
"yuck, this meat looks soo terrible."
Next,
"Eh? Where's the meat dish? No gravy?"

I had to open a can of meat and heat it up.
Then cook sausages.

After that.
"Uu didnt wash this? It's soo oily! Soo dirty!"

Rawr.
I will not cook again.
Soo troublesome.

I shall be a good girl and study.

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To some it may seem completely retarded.
But to me,
I FUCKING FUCKING hate it!

I fucking hate the what I look like now.
FUCKING FUCKING HATE IT.
Why didnt I FUCKING sunblock?!

I look damn FUCKING UGLY now cann.

I FUCKING FUCKING HATE THIS.

Healthy to me is not a complement.
I dont want to look tan and healthy.
I dont fucking want to.
I rather be fucking pale and sick.
At least then it means I'm fair.
Dont fucking laugh and say I'm darker now.
I'm not amused

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I have this crushcrushcrush on this cutecutecute guy in class.
And Manpreet says I am sooo obvious.

Ee.
And now I feel soo shy around him.
He'll say Hi and Bye to me.
And after I Hi Bye him,
I'll blush.
And Manpreet will laughlaughlaugh at me.
Eeeee.

He's cute cann.
Not my fault.
But I barely know anything bout him.
Crushcrushcrushes make me sooooooooooooo clueless.

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Sunburn sunburn super sunburned.
Both arms and bout 1/4 of my back.
I wonder how the sun burned my back when it was in front.
Hurts super badly.
I think I started burning like after bout 20+ minutes.
And since I was under the sun for almost an hour.
I got super burned.
Regret not sun blocking.
Why why why.
Ouch.

Facebook is soooooo laggy.

Hmm.
Time to get a new phone.
But I'm not sure what.
Hmm.
I saw the offers starhub had,
And the Nokia X6 looked really nice.
Hmm.
Or should I get an iPhone?
But everybody has one.
Soo boring.
I want a Nokia.
I'm sick of the Sonyerisson hanging.
Hmmmmm.
Choices Choices.
I shall go look up the X6.

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I dont get why the hell ur soo bothered by it.

When I would give the world to right that wrong in my life.

Uu should be muthafucking proud instead of lashing out at me.

Seriously king,
Stop acting like a child.

Because now, uu just stabbed me.
Muthafucking hard.

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My C drive is soo terrible packed with stuff.
My god.
And my D drive completely doesnt have space.
Shit.

Lappy's been overloaded with shit.
Time to clear up.
MYOB is taking forever to uninstall.

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I still think bout uu
Why so?
Rezzi, uu render my brain terribly useless
Like a capsule where time stopped, 4 months ago

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Justin is soo cute.
Heehee.

I have such a terrible fetish for small cute things.
Haahaa.

And my daddy is damn noisy.
Sheesh.
AND he scolds ME when I shout.
HE shouts soo much more.
Sheesh.

I shall distract myself with shy thoughts of Justin,
And naughty thoughts of Naomi.
WAHAAHAA.

Kendy's a perv.
=D

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Bored.
Need to study more.
Weird, I havent been clubbing recently.
Lost interest suddenly.
Maybe I'm finally starting to mind my money.

I'm in love with a little girl called Naomi.
Haahaa.
She's damn cute cann.
I keep disturbing her during Jap class.
WaHaaHaa.
I think she finds me damn funny.
Like some perverted old man.
Haahaa.

I really wished I was more perfect.
I'm sick of always worrying bout this and that.
And I'm sick of not being able to eat whatever I want.
It's soo annoying.
But I just cant seem to make my brain function.
Onto the fact that I should eat what I want to eat.
I just cant.

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I love it when there's tons of communication.
Everything is trashed out, and solved soo quickly.
I'm starting to see more of him.
And certain parts are like (-_-")
Sometimes, maybe a tad bit scary too.
But I guess I'm equally violent.
Soo, haahaa.
Oh wells.

Tooth Fairy was nice.
Especially when the lady sitting behind uu.
Has laughter even funnier than the show.
And the person beside uu.
Is warm.
Even though he's damn bloody stubborn.
And we keep clashing.
The company he provides is still enjoyable.

We had a slow walk home.
How he delicately held me.
Like he's telling me,
"Fret not, I'm here beside uu. I'll protect uu."
We had a nice talk.
The time passed fast.
We always seem like we have soo much to talk about.
I wonder why soo?

=)

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I was just going out with someone.
I dont see why I have to answer to uu.
When ur the one who gave up on me first.
Going out with someone doesnt mean I have gotten over uu.
When ur the one who rejected my pleas.
Dont bring ur insecurities, now, into my life.
Ur like a plague I swear.
It's like uu know when I'm moving on.
And just one call or text from uu,
Shakes the whole foundation I took bloody long to build.
In 3 more days, it would be 4 months since the break up.
And I believe in a few more months.
Maybe 1, maybe 2, maybe more.
My wounds would be finally be healed.
And nothing from uu would affect me anymore.
All that will be left is the love I have and will always feel for uu.
I wont lie to myself, like how I've always been telling everyone I'm over uu.
In my heart I know,
That I stand by *till the roses wither to dust*
But that wont stop me from being happy when someone better comes along.
I've told uu many times before,
That uu took my heart, pure from it's holding cell,
And retained it till this present day, and the days to come.
Uu just, never, ever, believed me.

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My god.

Soo much communication.
Soo much shouting.

I'm a fucking bitch la.
Why am I stepping all over him when he's soo fucking nice?

But I cant see things from his way.
He's a king, too noble.
He forgives those that arent meant to be forgiven.
He went through soo much.
He gives in soo much.

But I cant.
I cant forgive being treated like shit.
I cant forgive what I cant get over.
I see King's point of view.
What he's saying.
I understand.
But I cant be like uu.
I'm sorry.

I'm too spoilt.
What I feel is what I feel.
I'm gonna keep giving uu shit.
Uu better know what ur getting into.
I dont want to be a stupid shut up shit anymore.

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No class tomorrow.
Hmm.

I'm wondering if... like...
I would be able to let him hold me.
I wonder if I would be able to.. act like a couple with him.

Somehow it feels like I wont be able to do it.
Attraction doesnt equal to love.
Somehow things feel wrong.

He's such a nice person.
I cant bring myself to hurt him.
Or lead him on.
Sets me thinking, when uu feel the vibes from him.
Am I leading him on?

Rawr.

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